As I began to read the appendices of Vanishing Conscience, the search for my next venture in literature commenced. Many titles have been suggested. Divine Design was first on the list. Then Humility crossed my mind. Great works such as Trusting God, Don't Waste Your Life, and Mere Christianity are also options.  These are all books I've either never read or started without finishing. Each is a great work based on truth found within Scripture, by authors whose words are trusted, tried, and true. But then I got inspired. This topic has been simmering in my mind and recent events have added a little more heat here and there, raising the temperature of my mind on the subject. Then today, I was in the midst of a "totally different" conversation, seemingly unrelated, when BAM! This topic rose to the surface and exploded all over my desk, dripping off the side onto the floor. No, I'm not talking about a shaken can of Pepsi. The subject is apathy.

Apathy is the death of the Christian.

I've used this phrase in a couple different contexts with believers from my church, feeling out how it is accepted or rejected. And guess what? I'd get a nod. Maybe a "yeah, you're right." But the responses to my statement on apathy were met with... well... apathy! Sure they agree. No one likes apathy in general. But they don't think. We are not a thinking culture. Do they realize the consequences of the apathy that is the foundation of so much of America? I don't believe folks my age, or kids younger than me, or even my parents' generation have come to grips with what is going on. Our brains have turned to mush. There is NO discernment. There is NO logic. There is no WISDOM!  Where does that put the church? If the individuals of the body do not understand the need for action, our APATHY will lead to our ATROPHY. Wake up. WAKE! UP! 

.... I apologize for the jumpiness of this post. I don't have the time to put all my thoughts out, nor do I have the desire to do so at this time. Why not? Because I have a plan. Which leads back to my book hunt.  I plan to reread Truth War, the book I based my High School thesis upon *ahem* years ago. I don't make a habit out of rereading literature, especially books. But I need to in this case. I'm on the search for information on truth vs error, apathy vs action, anything that will help me understand the Scriptural view of this laziness that has captured the hearts of believers and laid them down in a pasture when they're supposed to be RUNNING! I may update y'all from time to time, but I told my friend today, I need to write about this and share this with the people I love. It's not that I think they're all being lazy and need to hop to it. I am the queen of laziness. But I must start somewhere in my own personal battle against apathy, and here is the spot in which the Lord has placed me. My boyfriend (yes, I've been courting a few months) urged me to combine my love for writing, years under good teaching, and this Spirit-given, growing passion for truth within me, and to spread the Word to anyone who will hear it. I'm not a great writer, I'm not even a good one, but I love it, and I love Him. Maybe this is a way for me to learn. Maybe it's a way to encourage others. No matter the result, may God be glorified. Pray for me, those of you who know the Father, are born again, have a desire for His Word. And examine yourselves. Are you apathetic towards life? Are you indifferent toward the battle that rages around and among us? Are you geared for war or napping on the sidelines, hoping others will fight for you? Think about it.

See you in a few months, Lord willing.



Her tear stained eyes
He doesn’t know she’s crying
Her hurting heart
He just goes on laughing
Every day, he takes away a part of her
And every day, she dies a little more
He doesn’t see she desperately wants him to know
That his life is headed toward a twisted darker road
And now she’s angry, now she’s mad
He’s got the life she never had
Her burden, job, maturity
While he gets everything for free
But when will she understand
He’s never gonna be a man
She tried it once
He took her guard down easily
She tried again
He said "it’s right now; don’t you see?"
And every day, she edges back toward the door
But every time, he tries to take a little more
He doesn’t see she desperately wants to let go
Now after all she wants back on the higher road
And now she’s angry, now she’s mad
He’s got the life she never had
Her burden, job, maturity
While he gets everything for free
But when will she understand
He’s never gonna be a man
Her soul is aching for his change inside but
He just keeps on taking til her heart has died and
Now they are a broken memory from ages past
And nothing there could ever last, they could never last
He doesn’t see…
She’s desperately…
He doesn’t see her blood is pouring, body aching
She’s desperately clinging to the smile she’s faking
And now she’s broken, now she’s sad
He took the joy that she once had
Kindness, care, generosity
He took it and left her to bleed
Still she cannot understand
He’s never gonna be a man




Behind my office door he lives
The gift of life to him I give
Every morning opportune
To kill him yet I do resist
There is a reason to exist

He lives behind my office door
So warm and quiet and poor
No other place has he to go
No safer place for him to roam
Do not wander walls or floor

Stay safe behind my office door
In wait, he lies
Recognize, my gentle eyes
No fear has he that I take his life
Some fear him, no, not I

So behind my door he lives
I cannot make a comfy stay
He may leave someday
My kindness will not keep him alive
Though it will not him of life deprive

So stay behind my door
As long as you wish
As long as you might
I’ll say bye every night
As I turn out the light
And leave you behind my office door.